Love for 2013, love for 2014.

Why starts when u know it is going to end? 

It doesn't work this way. Life is about experiencing, good or bad. Experiencing the feeling of being loved and hurt. I am not a fully mature adult, but I am on a journey of experiencing love and hurt. I am walking on the road of commitment.

I started dating with a pretty girl 7months ago and that night, my life was filled with so many colors and so many candies. I smile myself when I was having a shower, I smile for no particular reason when I was walking alone. Even my friends claimed that I was being ridiculously falling for her. My brain was filled with sweets, I just cant stop myself thinking of her. Almost almost every second, dream, shower, study ,eat, piss, and shit. It was so uncontrollable, thinking her face had just became a involuntary action.

Love is built, trust is standing, promises are kept, and hands are holding tight.

From the taboos, a good relationship doesn't have argument and hatred. Eventually, for me, which couple doesn't have argument? That is what makes a solid and healthy relationship. But impatient is starting to be in the climax. Tears, the broken words were so so bitter like a medicine which is trying to heal your heart. None of us were taking the blame, can tell it was worsen the situation. No matter how worse it was, i believe in good communication makes good commitment. I always wanted  to talk calmly to my dearest babe, yelling at each other would probably scare our feeling~

At one point, my relationship was falling apart, my heart was fragmented. We used to be so close to each other, hanging out, texting, lingering around the the garden, having lunch and dinner together. Day by days, the sweetness were fading. We longer have lunch, hanging out. Somehow the feel is getting cold and far.

Climax is where the trust is gone, promises are seen as a lie, a betrayed, fingers are getting lose.

"they" said, if you love a person, love the full package. I agreed with this quote. This is why I see paktor as a razor that stab into your heart. You love the full package, meaning that you love the way she hurts you. Old generation quote doesn't always work how it was. No one loves to be hurt in this world. One has to be coordinate to another one, toleration is vital! THE FULL package style is just a  blind love. A willing heart for both to tolerate is how it strengthen a line, agreement and commitment...

The magnetic relationship energy is no longer that strong to hold 2pieces of heart together. Topics are officially fading when you know your partner is starting to ask what you are doing. From the moment on, I had a mini heart attack and I know this will eventually leads to a bad outcome. The ugly fact. Yes, everything used to be so good. Used to be so good, just good..
So many unexplainable reason..
Taking blames are not an idea.. pride? none..

I miss old days....I really do recall every time we used to be so good... I too question myself, is that what every couples will go though the process of hot to cold? Thanks to the brain for thinking so much.. maybe that's what parents did as well? I'm so young and my problem is very cold.. I wish I could go back to memories.. Those days don't last?

Take a deep breathe, use 5minutes of your life time to think about how it was used to be.. and how is it now..
why?
how?

To u...
What is love now?
I get confused, occasionally.. 

Sigh... depending on what shape u believe in. I hated to see a love story, as a cycle. A cycle of dead end. This is what failures see. Sometimes this is what I see. From strangers to friends, from friends to lovers, from lovers to haters, from haters to strangers, maybe if u are lucky? From strangers to friends again.

I would love to see my story in a heart beating line. A content of progressive love story line. I started from random hostel friend, to good friends, to lovers, to a lovers who argue. I wish, she would be my only lover, to a family. To my forever.

There's no such thing as perfect couples. Fairy tales claim that. But reality doesn't exist such prince charming or princess SNOW WHITE. Quote said so, practice makes perfect. Couples should respect, adapt to their partner's culture. Practice each others norm instead of behaving like a rhino.
 No matter how sweet my relationship is.. I cant deny that there is a moment, I will feel jealous about the other couples.

I scold, because I care.

I'm jealous, because I concern too much.

I'm mad, simply because I am worried.

Sometimes we are tired.

We let go, because we need to cool down.

We argue, simply because we still love each other.

I always have a soft heart on you after all the things we had been through. I may have talked stupid, hurt you, asking u to leave. Trust me one thing, I always do love you.

2013, another year of lesson

 I'm with you

_____________________________________________________________________

 I was so greedy to have so many new year resolution during the end of 2012.
I wanted to be a bodybuilder. So I go for my dream.
 Transformation, dedication, discipline.

I wanted to be smart in academic

although I'm not a 4.0 studentbut I'm proud of my achievement

and I wanted to have a lover

then i fall in love..

Growing up makes life tough. I don't wan no more money, achievements are not priority now. Because the moment I stepped on bodybuilding stage, I knew that wasn't a new year resolution, that a life time revolution. Be happy, is what makes a life colorful..
I pray for living good, happy life for everyone, happy life for me and her and family and for everyone.

I.. sincerely pray for a healthy relationship with this girl, I pray for my parents.
I pray for health
I pray for peace
I pray for harmony
I pray for the loved one
I pray for happiness

most importantly.. my darling, please remember how we first met, please remember how we first start, please remember how and what we had been through, remember how we first felt, remember Sherman no matter what.

Hi 2014 :)
Happy 
New Year..