Neli-then I realized

The last paper was completed yesterday morning and I am officially a freeman from now on.. indeed it was a good news which also means my path in diploma has finally come to a corner.. great thing about it was the 3 of the paper and 2 of it were pretty much a piece of cake, just hoping federal constitution can gain more marks in it.
Because I wasn't raise in a family who practice a lot of politics, public, government, and policies.. I was a regular kid who do regular stuff like.....like.. games, letting mom to do laundry, waiting for dinner, and ready to be a prince...well, literally.....
So as usual final's final ended and I started my entertainment.

But that night, something unusual came to my head..and the scenario sounds like a real story..

A pair of newly marriad young couple decided to visit the wife's dad after he left quite some time, ago..
They were waiting at the beach because her father is a captain of the soldier submarine..waiting for his arrival..

Meanwhile, she received a call from the dad and requested to swim a distance of 1km to reach the submarine, because submarine isn't like any other regular ships which can depart and land on seasides.. the wife answer none and quickly jump into the salt water, so desperate to see her parent.. the husband then joins the swimming as to save his wife for not having any knowledge in swimming..

After all they managed to reach the tank. Without hesitate, she hugged the old man so tight.. they began the chitchat, hugging, teasing and joking. But the husband wasn't part of the conversation at all..at all.... He felt so left out and being treated like a glass.. But the most thing that adores him was the responding smile of her wife to his fatherinlaw.. the smile was so charming which he nearly forgets when was the last seeing his own wife so happy..

I was...stunned...envy, sad and happy for her at the same time.. emotions mixed up makes people feeling uncomfortable..
Very much adore the way they loved each other, the father and daughter's passion was so strong..

Then I realized, it was only just a dream..

It turns out I am in the story...

Even dreams have feelings...
Even dreams makes you feel...
Even dreams would do the thinking...

It was never a dream that makes me feel this way before..

The yes response

Regarding to the college I'm about to enroll during degree level, I've made up my mind so do my dearest mom.

As always heart to heart with a low and peaceful tone can solve a lot of problem in life, rather than bunch of tigers roaring and screaming for a decision making.

I talked to her and I tried to bring in the subject to her. We talk calmly and she explained why I shall not stick to my current so called "university college". The entire reason behind her choice for me to experience another college is all about her perceptions on tarUC level of education. Infact my mom doesn't complain any negativity about my college but just said that others might be better, as always. For her, she loves me unconditionally and money ain't an issue for her son's education. She told me all she can gives now is a better education, because it is an asset to build my bright future.
Other than that, she wanted me to explore to another culture and environment other than staying in hostel. Because I'm still young and changes like this would make me mature and good.

As for what I replied her. I told her nicely, I disagree with the statement. Yes I know papers, certificates are important to determine one's qualification in respective field, and it is also "nowadays" form of foundation in how much we will received in our income. Isn't it a trend now? Diploma now, degree soon to be mainstream-ed. Besides, I believe in potential other than relying on the cert. You might have a good cert from london UK or whatsoever fantastic college. But attitude marks a person's succession in life but not that! Not to judge my brother, he has 2 very good college in technology and business studies. But it doesn't refers to his professionally in that field. He even resit and the cgpa close to failing passing rate.

After so much of discussion, she finally said "all I want is just a better education for you, yet it is still your choice to choose what to study and where to study". My heart melted that moment. Even my dad supports me this time, he has not much comment but he told mom just let me to choose where I liked.

Other than that, there's a suspicious matter that worries mom, she kinda warned me not to make such decision because of hua king. But intact, she's the biggest influence on my desicion. Without her appearance, I would've gone long ago, changes school and my course studied. Because of kingking, I stood up and decided to runs back to what I am about to stop. But all in the end, I liked here, the people, the environment, the lifestyle and the culture here.

Lets hope that she loves me as I did. This few days, felt so in love with her again and again. Wish for our loyalty never dies.

They said it hurts

No body likes lies
But why do we lie?
As said, the truth is messy. We tend to cover the truth to protect oneself~
We all want that relationship that is built to have trust, intimacy, openness. But our most of the relationship doesn't work as theory.
For me, it is about the level of commitment. It can easily see if one individual is fully committed to his/her partner, there is no more lies in between.
The most thing I'm afraid -
Sometimes tracing vouching cross checking bring you the facts that you don;t want to know.
And you are just hopping the lies are the true.

Quote:
Grab a glass and throw it on the floor
Did it break?
Now apologize to it
Did it go back how it was before?
No, get it?

Hiding something isn't truly solution in loving someone.
But if you choose to hide it, hide completely and leaves no trace mark behind the foot.
Lie professionally, don't lie half way.
If you want to do it, do it properly

Although Honest isn't always an option to protect your lies, it doesn't provide any protection.
But at least being honest and real are the rules in a relationship.
Why not? Looking to the very first sight when u started liking a person and wanted to be with them?
Why? A solid reason for it is trust. Reliable.
When these aspect gone wrong, whats the point to be together?

thoughts and thoughts of mine.

是我不会做

我是一位很简单的男生
对于我喜欢的女生，我希望她是文静的，也能够很专一。
不过这一切都是我理想中的女友，可是我爱上了一位对任何人都很热情的女生。无论是刚认识的都能对人带来很亲切的感觉。
我不知不觉就变成了他的男朋友。
在这种情况下，我是应该开心大方还是担心? 是我看不开吗?
样貌和身材如何我都不在意。
我只想要一个女朋友的态度和心态能带给我像是有男朋友的的女生。
我也是想感到有安全，不用害怕她乱来。可是这份感情我终是带给我害怕，怀疑。
是我想太多了吗?
我应该如何..还没离开这里就出现了这些问题，如果分离后会怎样?